Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Why Leap Year might ruin my life

Yeah. I just used a picture of 101 Dalmatians for my 101st post. Because I'm original and stuff.

Crap now I have the need to actually be original for my 101st post. Hmm. Maybe I'll draw you a picture later or something. 

Annnnnd on to other topics. 

So I've decided that I have three primary personalities. There is the "I will do everything before noon and then save the world from cancer with my 5.0 on the 4.0 GPA system!" personality. 

Then there is the "I will express myself through all the art mediums ever thought of and I can play guitar and have really cool discussions about life and who needs arbitrary grading systems?" personality. And finally, I have the "blinking is hard work. Why don't I just sit lay melt into a puddle of failure on the couch for a few more days" personality. 

That last one seems to be taking over my life lately, which is why I'm blogging about it. So I can feel less guilty about the fact that I saw a movie yesterday and did no homework even though it is threatening to eat me alive at this point. 

Kind of like this, only it would look more like a shark made out of homework and you'd be crying because you're actively being eating alive.
I seem to be stuck in a "personality three" rut, with slight variations involving wanting to cut my hair because in theory changing my appearance will force change into my gelatinous form, and being seriously tempted to eat an entire 6 dozen batch of cookie dough in one sitting. 

Which brings us to my new theory about life. It seems to me that everyone has a stupid month. It's that one time of year when everything feels like crap and you want to do something drastic to change your boring life, but nothing cool is happening and it's all boring, so what's the point? Then you lay on your couch wondering why you have no self control after you eat another piece of cheesecake. 

It doesn't always have to be the same month every year, but it usually is. Regardless, everyone hits that crappy phase of the year when you have no motivation and the tiniest of grievances sends you into a downward spiral of sadness and unmotivated sulking. February is definitely my month of suck. 

And it's laaaaaaaame. 

In light of this, I am going to assemble a list of awesome things that I must complete everyday before I set my nose to the grindstone of sharks made out of homework. 

Yay lists! (Personality #1 is pleased with lists)

Today: I am going to draw a picture of me punching a bear and post it on the internet because I can. 

Tomorrow: Clean out my iTunes. 
Tomorrow part 2: The first one sounds kind of like work to my sludge brain so I'm also going to eat a honey and banana sammich. 

Friday: Find a new song on YouTube to loop until someone stabs me for making their ears bleed. 

Saturday: Watch Phineas and Ferb

Sunday: Finally put my dinosaur computer to rest. Yes brain, I know this sounds like work, but it will make you feel better. I promise.
Fiiiiine you can also watch three random YouTube videos.

Monday: Go to bed before midnight. 

Tuesday: Make cookies and don't over cook them.

Poop! This year is leap year too. Why must I live through another day of crappy month? (I just said poop in a post. Classy, very classy.)

Wednesday: Buy a jar of nutella and proceed to eat with spoon. I know you're broke, but this last day of February caught you by surprise, but you lived like a freaking champ. 

Well that's that. Updates here as I embark on this quest of not sucking.

What are your guilty pleasures that you use to cope with suckiness?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Happy 100th post to all you spambots clogging my inbox with comment notifications

So. Hi. *awkward wave*

I just logged in for the first time and months. And guys, I got 12 page views yesterday. I haven't blogged in a flipping year. I am so confused right now. Do people on the internet just not have lives and check back just in case I've actually posted something. Even though it's been a flipping year?! And I am not being hypocritical in this at all. Not one bit. I do not spend hours of my life on Tumblr. Or Pinterest. What?

Well I have been getting notifications of spam comments, so maybe it's from that. Probably. People are cooler than me and wouldn't stalk my long dead blog.
Huh. Well in that case, gather round my wonderful spambots, I am about to continue my usual rambling.

The reason I have decided to make a post, even though the shame of not blogging for a year is nearly intolerable, is because when I logged back into today out of sheer boredom and curiosity, I noticed that I had 99 posts.

Are you kidding me?

I couldn't have blogged once more and made it an even hundred. If any of my real people followers ever stumble across this post, I'm sure you've noticed I'm quite OCD and the fact that I only had 99 post would haunt me through the eternities. 99. One of the worst numbers ever. It has all the enormity of 100, without the guts to just finish.

Ahem, as per usual I have no idea what I'm talking about at this point.

The other reason I am blogging today is because as the highly responsible, totally not impulsive (and not sarcastic at all) person that I am, I have decided that I want to try blogging again.

So am I going to get cheers, an indifferent silence, or several handful of rotten tomatoes and other projectiles that are past their expiration dates to accompany the boos and hisses that I deserve after being gone an entire year? It's okay, I'll understand if I shall ever be a laughing stock in the blogging community.

And if I don't get laughed out, thoughts on perhaps moving to a new blog. Ya know, new start and all. I'd still keep this one around so you could all still read the old posts and stuff. Plus dorksideoftheforce was from forever ago and I want to come up with something new and equally childish is slightly juvenile.

Well this has been a delightfully boring post. There is no way I'm not going to get laughed out.

EDIT: How in the name of all that is holy DID I GAIN FOLLOWERS?!?! Why? I never understood why I gained followers when I actually blogged. I... I love you people.